


Growing Up

by cancerously



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Jake English and Dirk Strider as well but not much more, additionally there be carapaces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3161090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cancerously/pseuds/cancerously
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy never knew her mother, but her mother knew her. Written for the Ladystuck 2014 Gift Exchange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growing Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OvaltineAuthoress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvaltineAuthoress/gifts).



> A gift for OvaltineAuthoress! Happy new years, hope you enjoy :3c

Roxy had never known her mother. It wasn’t weird to her anymore; nowadays, the idea of living with parents were things Other People Did, but when she was young it was odd to know just enough, to see things her mother left behind and have to puzzle out what they meant about her. Her mom had obviously left these things for her, had thought about her and worried about her well-being, and while her absence no longer bothered Roxy, it brought her a lot of strife through her childhood.

She couldn’t say she remembered anything about who took care of her before she could walk, but once Roxy was able to fend for herself off the food that she kept managing to find in her kitchen, she didn’t see another human being around, well, ever. The only ‘people’ she ever came across were the black-and-white things that seemed to populate the small neighborhood outside her door. Roxy watched them wide-eyed from the screens in her lab with the curiosity of a child, or the cracks in the doors, wherein she’d occasionally tumble out into the street by accident and scramble back inside yelping over the unknown. Looking out behind her once she made it back inside, she saw that a small black one had seen her- and upon meeting her eyes, it tumbled down its front steps in a manner like hers, then ran back into the house without a sound, only to look out again to double-check if she was watching. Even though Roxy knew she should have been cautious, she was still young, and curiosity outweighed her fear as she knocked gently on the door later that day.

 “H-Hello.” She held her hands together, not looking the larger ones in the eyes when they opened the door. “I saw… the littler one fall earlier. Are you… okay?”

Two tall black pieces looked at each other as a small one with a scrape on its knee pushed gently through their parent’s legs. They stumbled up to Roxy, and she took a small step back before they extended their hands and placed something in hers. It was a piece of cloth, looking similar to what they wore, though having been washed clean. Roxy watched in curiosity as the small piece sat on the stoop, ripping off a piece of the clothes they were wearing and tying it around their hurt knee, then looking to Roxy to do the same.

From then on, they became fast friends.

\---

The carapaces taught Roxy everything they knew- how to scavenge for food, repair rips in clothes, and catching water when it rained. In return, Roxy showed them the house her mother had left, with the labs and the fake windows and the alcohol. She tried, on many occasions, to give some to them, but they didn’t seem quite as interested as she was with it. Every time she tried to explain that it was from her mother, and should be important, they just stared at her blankly until she moved on to something else of more interest. They took care of her when she needed reassurance, taught her how to tie her shoes, and made sure she brushed her hair. As far as Roxy was concerned, this was what family was about.

She didn’t change her tune until she met Jane online. Jane, who had stories about living with her dad, who cooked nice foods and was always there for her, just her. Even though out of her small group of friends, Jane was the only one with a parent, she couldn’t help but feel cheated. She had to share her ‘parents’ with tons of other carapace kids- they traded her off, whoever could come by to check on her and make sure she was doing alright. Roxy had a family, but she didn’t have a parent.

“Are you my parents?” She asked them once, quizzically. The pair currently doting on her, two white pieces with rag hoods down around their necks, exchanged looks wordlessly.

“I mean, it doesn’t matter if you are, or aren’t, I guess…” Roxy continued, trailing off before finding her words again.  “Like, my friends have parents, well, just one friend, but I don’t gotta have parents, I just, wanted to know…”

One of the carapaces walked over, tilting her head up from where it was looking at her sneakers. They kneeled down, embracing her as she cried a little into their tattered clothes. They knew they weren’t what she wanted, but maybe, for now, it could be enough.

\---

By the time Roxy was 13, she was voracious for information about her mother. She had told Jane, Jake, and Dirk everything she knew, pouring it over and over online for records and information. Without a first name and barely a last name to go on, she and her friends were pretty much at a loss- there was little to go on, anywhere, and no one seemed to be able to find anything to help her.

She became more and more insistent on the carapaces to tell her any information they had about her mom, or any parents, or even any other people, but they continued to avoid her gaze. She began to wander around the neighborhoods silently, as they instructed her never to do, with the alcohol her mother left her as her only company. She’d never be one of them. She never was.

\---

Months passed before anyone had the courage to talk to say anything to her about it.

GG: Roxy, I don’t mean to be a fuddy-duddy, but don’t you think you should tackle this issue more… responsibly?  
TG: what do u mean responsibbibly  
TG: im plenty responsible  
TG: when i wanna eb  
TG: be*  
GG: If you would let us help you a little more, perhaps we could find something.  
TG: looky here jnaey  
TG: janey*  
TG: i dont wanna make it seem like u guys arent lookin out for me or sumthin  
TG: i just kno that ya cant find anyfin else  
TG: anythin* wow no puns right now too serious for that  
TG: im just learnin to deal w/ it and its hard  
GG: I know it’s hard, Roxy. But you’re really hurting yourself. We’re all concerned about you. Your mother would have wanted you to take care of yourself!  
TG: i am TOTALLY takin care of meself  
TG: juss… in my own way  
GG: Well… perhaps you should science something out for this?  
GG: You seem to be quite good at that sort of thing.  
TG: science it out????  
TG: jane i speak in gibberish and i dont even know what u mean  
GG: I don’t know, some kind of experiment or interesting creation made from the lab you’re always telling me about!  
GG: I’m sure you could do something stunning and find out about your mom that way! :B  
TG: … yanno jane thats just crazy enough to maybe work  
TG: im gonna go check out some stuff  
TG: birb  
TG: brb*  
TG: haha birb whats a birb  
TG: sorry totally off topic  
TG: brb again  
  
\---

Roxy scampered downstairs, jumping over half-finished experiments and projects left abandoned to the command console in the center of the room. She’d tried to fiddle with this thing a couple times in the past, but it never quite came out with anything other than weird codes and beeping noises. Today, she vowed, today she was going to figure out what it was for.

She spend hours, probably days, before she could manage to get the machine to register anything. She continued to put in hex codes, codes from anything she could think of, even making up a few to get the machine to respond favorably. All it seemed to do was respond with more synchronized beeping, or would show her pictures of things that didn’t make any sense- something that looked like a pile of rocks, or a picture underwater, or something that might have been a plant but incredibly zoomed in. Eventually she just took to banging her head or other various objects on it out of sheer desperation. Nothing worked, nothing made sense, and eventually she just collapsed on the keypad.

Roxy was awoken with a start from a rapid siren from the machine, snapping herself off the console keypad so quickly she flung herself to the floor. The machine was making all sorts of wooping noises, which she could barely make out as binary began to flood the screen. She quickly sat up and realized in her sleep she had drooled on the keyboard- oh, fantastic Roxy, you broke it, great- and while she tried to mop it up with a corner of her scarf, the screen went black as the sound of static filled the basement.

"Activating message." A computerized voice rang out, and words began to appear on the screen above her.

_Oh, good, it seems you’ve figured out how to use this. I hope it didn’t take long._

Roxy stopped moving instantly, eyes locked onto the monitor above her. It was slowly becoming filled with purple text, in a format not unlike how she spoke to her friends online.

 _Dear Roxy. If you’re receiving this message, you’ve found out how to key in to the identifying controls in this lab I’ve left you. It’s coded directly to your DNA, so only you should be able to access this message._ The text was entrancing, and Roxy found herself spellbound. Her mother was here, here all along waiting for--Wait—DNA, that was it, she drooled on something and it worked. Absolutely remarkable, she mused to herself, before snapping back to speed-read the new lines that had appeared.

_I feel the need to apologize, before anything else. I’m not going to be there for you to see you grow up. I probably won’t be there at all for any point of your life. Where I am now—when I am now—there is too much turmoil for me to risk bringing you in, and for me to ignore it in the world. In order to protect you, I must set everything up for you to be safe. And that seems to be a world… without me in it._

Roxy stood, wide-eyed and mouth agape, as the scrolling text continued. _In my present time, a dangerous woman known as The Batterwitch is taking on humanity. I need to stop her, in order to ensure you will have a future to go to. I have left you these things in the hopes that you can continue my fight. I believe in your strength, Roxy, even though I will never be able to meet you in person._

 _I leave you with my facility, and a home for you to hide in. I leave you with the dangers of the Batterwitch, and the files I will have coded here. I hope, in time, you will learn to forgive me for the things I have done, and for the things I will not do with you. I love you, daughter. Be strong._ Roxy moved her hand to touch the screen gently, trying to tell herself not to cry. _Love, your mother. Farewell._

Roxy stood in disbelief, letting her hand drop back to the console, as the screen began to pull up articles and files, all documenting the work her mother had done. She poured over them, eyes wide, interested beyond belief with what was being presented to her.

Before she knew it, she was scrambling back upstairs to her computer in her room, letting out small shrieks before sending a mass message to her friends.

TG: guys guys guys  
TG: i have  
TG: SO many things to tell u  
TG: just wait  
TG: i promise its worth it ;)


End file.
